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Saturday, April 5, 2008

Birds before dawn

It is dark. My son looks up the stairs. He turns to me. "I'm not going up there," he says. "It's dark up there!" My 2 year old daughter turns to me and says, "It dark up dare!" and "Ooooohhhhh!" I tell my son that there is nothing going on in the dark that there isn't going on in the light.

Yet, tonight as I sit and watch Pride and Prejudice (I LOVE all period British moive and especially Jane Austin!!!), I have a realization. In the film, Lizzie begins to hear a most beautiful sound. It is the sound of the first bird just before dawn. I begin to imagine my experiences with this sound. This is my connection - In your desperation, it starts as a faint sound in the back of your mind. You lay there in the darkness, still thinking and trying to shake the terror you feel. And then, wait....there it is again. You begin to think that it might be a sweet sound. wait....yes, there it is again and again....and wait. again! The sounds are coming so quickly now. You don't even need to look out the window. You know that daylight is coming. You know that everything is changing now. Changing from the dark of the night. So now it's "better."

I actually connected with my son in that thought, that moment from the film. I once felt how he feels about the dark. I remembered my feelings. I realized that my practical advice of there being no difference of surroundings between day and night means nothing when you are scared. I felt the empathy of the moment. I did not belittle his feelings. I will not. I will try every day to feel them in my heart.

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